Homecoming 04 Part II

Well I had intended to finish writing about homecoming last week, but as usual I let myself get sidetracked….

As a quick recap, the Fabolous concert on Thursday (November 4^th) got the homecoming ball rolling. The following morning I awoke with the usual disdain and hatred for my alarm clock, which is an easy target for blame when waking up at 7 a.m. for class after a night of boozing. I reluctantly headed of to Torts, most likely my least favorite class, in a truculent mood. My peevish disposition that morning was a result of having to go to Torts instead of watching the live taping of several segments for ESPN’s morning show, Cold Pizza, which was filming on campus.  Unlike all of my other professors, my Torts teacher has a mandatory attendance policy-which is complete nonsense by the way-so I really didn’t have a choice. The filming was taking place from 8-10 a.m. so I knew that I’d be able to catch at least some of the show, but our head football coach Larry Coker and former UM and Redskins linebacker, Jessie Armstead, were going to be interviewed and I was worried that I would miss those particular segments. So I impatiently sat in class surfing the web, refusing to pay attention out of spite for my professor. I had an almost constant gaze fixed on the seemingly unmoving hands of the clock that was hanging on the wall, just over my right shoulder. The more I looked at the clock, the slower it seemed to move, mocking me. Finally the clock struck 9:20 and I was sitting on the edge of my seat, all packed, and waiting to make my dash for the door. However, as is the norm in Torts, our professor kept us about five minutes past the scheduled time, which especially irked me that morning. I muttered a few expletives under by breath but ultimately conceded that as a student I was subject to the whims of my professor, no matter how annoying. Finally class let out and my friend Drew and I made our way over to the Cold Pizza set, hoping that we hadn’t missed everything.

When we arrived at the set the crew was setting up for their final shoot. It was going to be a segment with one of the hosts, Thea Andrews, a bubbly and attractive Canadian brunette, Jessie Armstead, and the Feasty Boys, who are Cold Pizza’s resident cooks. The irreverent duo does cooking demonstrations on the show every Friday, usually with recipes geared towards tailgating, with the major ingredients tending to be meat and some variety of alcohol, most often beer. So we watched the crew set up and the participants run through a series of rehearsals in preparation for the live shoot. It was cool seeing all the different parts of the production; from the make-up lady touching up the participants, to the director putting final touches on the production. When you’re sitting on the couch in the comfort of your own living room, you don’t realize all that is being done to bring you your favorite show. For each person that is actually on camera, there are probably at least five off camera doing the underappreciated grunt work that is necessary to pull of a show. Anyway, I digress. Once the final preparations were completed and the crew got the go ahead from the home set in NYC they began the segment, which involved the Feasty Boys demonstrating for the viewers some sort of seafood dish that they cooked in aluminum foil on the grill. Thea and Armstead made token attempts to participate but both seemed somewhat lost in the cooking process and stood on the periphery as the Feasty Boys prepared their dish.

Seeing the show was enlightening and exciting, but Drew and I were motivated more out of a desire to meet celebrities than anything else. While the filming was going on, we struck up a conversation with a reporter for the campus newspaper who was there to interview both Thea and Armstead. Clearly she had no celebrity status of her own, as she was just a lowly freshman, but she was our ticket in. After the shoot finished she introduced us first to Thea, and then to Armstead. Both were very nice and accommodating, and briefly talked with us and posed for pictures. Television appearances are deceiving, however, with Thea not being as hot in person as she appeared on screen, while Armstead’s height and weight are definitely inflated by the teams that he plays for. In fact, Thea kept her shoes off during the segment so that she would not appear taller than Armstead and the Feasty Boys. Meeting Thea was cool but the real highlight was meeting Armstead, a five time pro-bowler that played college ball for the Hurricanes and in the pros with the Giants, Skins, and Panthers. While defiantly nowhere near his listed playing weight, Armstead makes up the difference in the amount of bling that he sports. Not only did he have a large gold cross full of diamonds hanging around his neck, diamond ring, and diamond watch, he also wore a three inch wide bracelet that was completely blanketed with diamonds. Must be nice being a football star, huh?

Friday night brought about another homecoming event, the Wyclef Jean concert, which is what I was most looking forward to coming into the weekend. A group of us headed to campus around 9 p.m. and I was shocked by the transformation the campus had undergone since that morning. What had looked like a normal college campus only a few hours earlier, now more closely resembled a carnival than a place of education. There were food stands everywhere, dolling out free cotton candy popcorn. The area around the student center had taken on the identity of a children’s play area, with moon bounces and a petting zoo covering the area where I sometimes eat lunch. A goat was now roaming the stage where 24 hours ago Fabolous had performed. Every empty space housed a different reunion, ranging from recent grads to those that had graced Miami’s campus 50 years earlier. Limos were pulling in and out as if dropping off celebrity guests on the red carpet at the Oscars. 

We made our way through the chaos and emerged on the open green in the middle of campus. There the technicians had set up a large stage for Wyclef’s performance. Spectators were trickling into the area and milling about while waiting for the show to start. As Fabolous had proved the day before, hip-hop concerts very rarely start on time. At about 10:15, the opening act came on and performed a few songs. They sounded alright, clearly needing much more work if they aspired to reach the success level of the artist that they were opening for. However, reluctantly I admit that I said the same thing about the group that opened for Wyclef five years ago at UVA, which happened to be the Black Eyed Peas. 

They played 3 or 4 songs then left to a warm applause. As the technicians put the finishing touches on the set and prepared Wyclef’s instruments the crowd started growing restless with applause ringing out every time someone mistook one of the crew on stage for the rapper. Standing in the grassy area I heard applause ring out once again but assumed it was another false alarm. This time, however, the applause did not die down, but began escalating as more people realized that Wyclef was coming on stage. He emerged with his characteristic dreadlocks flapping in the wind, sporting a UMIAMI sweatshirt. He dove right into his performance by singing Stayin' Alive, my favorite Wyclef song. Soon the hooded sweatshirt was off and thrown into the crowd, revealing a UM football jersey, which was greeted by rousing applause and cheers from the crowd. Wyclef performed traditional favorites such as Guantanamera and Gone 'til November, as well as several Fugees songs and even a cover of a Jackson Five song. Wyclef’s music is terrific on its own, but he’s also an awesome performer that puts on a hell of a show. Not only did he play his guitar behind his head, but also with his teeth, something that I didn’t even know was possible. He also dropped some free style lyrics and at one point was joined onstage by Cannabis, which was an unexpected surprised for everyone. Typical of Wyclef, and to the chagrin of any school administrator, he made constant references and jokes about marijuana, which drew the expected roars of applause from the students. There was one incident in particular that needs a more detailed explanation…

The day leading up to the show students could purchase raffle tickets to win an autographed guitar signed by Wyclef. About halfway through the show Wyclef took a break in his routine to announce the winner of the raffle. One of his crew brought out a box with names in it and Wyclef pulled one out and announced it to the crowd. Unfortunately, nobody from the audience made any indications that they were the winner. Just as another name was to be pulled a kid in the crowd screamed that he was the winner and Wyclef made his way over and asked to see his id. Of course he didn’t show it because he wasn’t the actual winner, which led to Wyclef saying “My fu&*ing d*&k you’re….(I don’t remember the name). So another name was finally pulled and some girl yelled out, showed her id, and claimed her prize. Sounds like a done deal, right? Well, just as this girl received her guitar and started making her way back to her spot in the crowd to show off her prize to her friends, the original winner emerged breathlessly on stage after apparently sprinting from his spot in the back of the crowd to the stage once he heard his name called. Well the prize was given out already and here was the kid who was supposed to have it. Hhmm…So following the unwritten rule of first-come first-serve, yet not wanting the guy to leave empty handed, Wyclef rummaged around on stage and produced a fitting prize…..the cardboard box that the guitar had come on. The kid whose name I don’t remember was a good sport about everything and triumphantly held the box over his head and did a mini victory lap on stage before finally disappearing down the steps behind the stage. This was just one snapshot of a show that was filled with both great music and comedic events.

The concert itself was tons of fun and even topped the previous two Wyclef shows that I had been to. Florida apparently doesn’t have the same head-scratching rules that Virginia does and the concert lasted well past midnight. I left campus with the ringing in my ears that accompanies any concert, less annoying after a good show such as this one. It was late so I passed on meeting some friends in South Beach and instead went home and threw in a DVD and contently passed out on my comfy red couch…

The next day was the homecoming game….

 

Comments

[bryan]

glad to hear the red couch is still alive and kicking down in miami. also, i will again comment : that's some life you lead down there. if you start to dress like miami vice i may have to lose your number.

[Viktor]

Just call me "Sonny" Crockett...